A wise man once told me there is beauty in bullshit. The older I get the more valid his assessment is becoming by the day. In this break from eternal slumber we call life, setbacks and heartaches come with the owners manual. No one wants to go through unnecessary painful events and deal with negative vindictive people; yet here we are.
Up to this point on the road to the kingdom I have been trotting through rivers of Angus waste that would kill a weakling just off the smell alone. I’m tired and jaded but most importantly I’m wiser. Some of the setbacks I have experienced have been self inflicted by ego and poor decisions; whereas others were caused by people being people. I have shot myself in the foot many times due to short sightedness and a know it all attitude.
When I was younger I had to deal with self esteem issues and a father in and out of mental institutions. I had to deal with the fact that my self worth was effected by seeing my superhero (father) doped up on medicine the orderlies gave him. It had me scared for my future and made me hopeless at a young age. As a result of being a broken human being I did what broken people do; I destroyed the world around me.
I made sure the pain I was feeling was passed onto other people and as a result karma made my life worse. At the same time I experienced beautiful things but I was too focused on bullshit. I saw the world and spent entire days at libraries and book stores devouring pages during my dark periods. I saw different cultures and walks of life and beautiful women of all shades and races. The graveyard of my mind wouldn’t allow me to enjoy the beauty in the bullshit I was going through mentally.
At this juncture in life I just want the kingdom to come to fruition and be the best father I can be. I been through enough to see the bullshit coming even before the turd realizes its a piece of shit. I may gripe, complain, come up with random conspiracies to vent my frustrations but one thing is for certain its beauty in bullshit. Adjust your eyes and realize your alive to endure it and overcome it. Stay Regal.