I am an a**hole sometimes. Sometimes my tunnel vision about this kingdom consumes my entire being. I am irritable and just an overall pain to be around sometimes. Unfortunately my wife bears the brunt of it and somehow she still loves me. I don’t mean to be that way towards her but this road is full of stress and curve balls. I am doin this for us but I forget she is going through all of this sh*t with me. She makes sure I am fed, have clean clothes and always listens to my heartache even when I know she isn’t really interested. She takes care of my daughter day in day out and yet some days I forget this. Some days I give her my ass to kiss cause the world blacking my eyes but that doesn’t mean I don’t love her.
It is hard being a man in the world today; a black one at that. What I have learned to do is show reverence and gratitude towards her whenever I can. You can only say sorry so many times. Relationships are hard, marriage is even harder but to me it is worth it. I know that when I reach the throne I will be able to be everything I promised to her in my vows. Right now however I am on the grind and unfortunately this sh*t don’t stop. I would love to lay in the bed with her some days and do absolutely nothing but that aint keeping the lights on. The road is lonely; even though I am doin it for us I still think she doesn’t completely grasp the gravity of what I am trying to accomplish. Yet in still her touch and smell means so much on horrible days. The love in her voice washes away the anger and contempt the world shows me on a regular basis. I am forever grateful God blessed me with someone that will walk through hell’s fire with me and love me while her flesh is sizzling. This is dedicated to all the women that hold dudes like me down. We don’t always articulate how we feel because sometimes we just can’t. We appreciate ya even though we have funky a** attitudes sometimes. It ain’t intentional. We love yall.