At the penitentiary (workplace) a lot of phrases get tossed around that let you know the majority of people working there are defeated and ok with losing the battle. On a Monday morning you will hear someone ask another how are you today? The person normally answers: “I am here.” That one word says so much while saying so little.
The person is acknowledging that they are not there on their own volition. They are there because they have to be. Whether by choice or circumstance the average inmate has been backed into a corner and is scared to fight their way out. They hate being there but have no better way of making money so they do something they hate that takes them away from their families for the majority of the day.
Thank God I was born into a family of go getters that never settle for scraps. Even if I am losing, I wont be losing for that long. Coming to this place makes me hustle harder because everyday I come I am reminded of what the rest of my life will be like if I give up now. I fell for the illusion that the cubicle is better than the corner. If it’s so much better why do I feel so dead when I leave? At least out there I felt alive and life was happening all around me and no two days resembled each other. In here it’s the same s**t day after day.
The same crusty faces wearing the same clothes and talking the same ol s**t. I can’t wrap my head around how people can do this for 30 years of their life. When I go home everyday my daughter looks different than the day before. She is growing and I am missing out on it because I am here at work doing f**k all playing the predetermined role of an “adult”. Bills, suits, tupperware and F**k A** meetings about changes that needed to be made to make productivity increase.
This place kills my youth and creativity on a daily basis. Don’t know how much of this I can take anymore. I know what I need to be doing but castles don’t materialize overnight and I am still in the research and development phase of my kingdom. The paperwork is done but the guns aint blazing yet. Moral of the rant: Here is only as permanent as you let it be. Here is only temporary to me; I hope it is to you as well. Stay Regal.