When I was younger and life was less complicated I always use to notice that my mother would always watch this one particular show every single day. Every day without failwhen it was time for it to come on she would disappear and watch it. It used to confuse me at that age because I couldn’t understand why that show was so important to her. Years and years go by and she still watched that show faithfully. When I was about 15 or 16 I finally asked her. “Mom why do you always watch that show it aint nothin special about it. There are actually show similar that are better. She said ” its my release; when you get older you will understand.” For some reason that vague answer didn’t sit well with me and it actually bothered me for awhile. This strong woman who seemed to have an answer for every question I asked her all of a sudden was at a loss for words. Years go by and I never thought about it again. As I get older the stresses of life begin to wear me down little by little. Some days are better than others and some are worse than others but they all pass by the same.

On a particularly rough day after life whooped my a** I was sitting alone smoking a joint and my mind was drifting to other worlds to escape the pain I was feeling. In and out of thought I noticed that her show had came on because of the theme music. I began to think about her and that thought about what she said to me all those years ago came up. All of sudden her answer became so clear. I now understood what she meant. When she said it was her release she meant it was what helped her mind take a break from whatever problems she was going through in her life at the time. That’s why she would watch it religiously every single day. It wasn’t the show that was so important to her it was the fact that it was time that allowed her mind to escape. That’s what gave her peace in her day. For a long time weed was my release until it became a crutch to me. It’s like that quote I see on twitter all the time about being kind because everyone is fighting a hard battle.

Everybody is always on the brink of losing their sanity because of the random events life throws at you. Not everybody has had time to develop coping skills. Fortunate or unfortunately for me I had to develop those at an early age because of the madness I was born into. Some use substances to cope others use people. Everybody has something to help them deal with the misery of the human condition. That is why you can’t really judge a person unless you understand the scars they are living with. By all means find your release and it will make those s**tty days fly by. A person without a release is a walking time bomb. Sometimes activities don’t cut it and you might need professional help aint no shame in that. Hell even Tony Soprano needed it. Nowadays for me it’s my punching bag; I feel sorry for it. Reflections………

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